Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Sometimes they just can't wait...
And they're priceless treasures that will be put away in a special place to be remembered for years......
Gold butterfly ring, with two red stones, sure to turn my finger green in a matter of days....
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
.......and like any normal college kid, she's bringing home mounds of laundry as well... *deep contented sigh* ...bring it on!
Another reason I am looking forward to this day is to see the joy on Boo's face! He misses his sister SO much and has been counting down the days for her to come home, "for 5 WHOLE nights!"
Monday, November 17, 2008
I know I've failed miserably on Fall Into Flavor recently, but it's really REALLY hard to post butter, sinful, deliciousness when I'm DESPARATELY trying to watch every calorie that goes into my mouth! HAHA!
So I thought today, I'd post a recipe I recently found while searching for spinach dishes.....and this one has 3 different cheeses in it (actually it has 4 if you want to count the Parm on top!), so though not low-fat, there is NO butter! :) This would be a fantastic addition to a Thanksgiving feast!!
Baked Spinach with Three Cheeses
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/2 cup grated Edam cheese
1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 tablespoons fresh bread crumbs
1 egg yolk
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 (10-ounce) packages ready-to-use fresh baby spinach
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1. Preheat oven to 350*C (175*C). Lightly butter a 12-inch oval gratin pan or an 11 x 7-inch baking dish.
2. Mix onion, feta cheese, Edam cheese, blue cheese, dill, nutmeg, bread crumbs, egg yolk and nutmeg in a small bowl. Set aside.
3. In a large pot or Dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add spinach and saute until wilted and juices evaporate, about 3 minutes. Transfer to strainer; drain well. Shake strainer up and down to remove as much liquid as possible.
4. Arrange spinach in prepared baking dish. It will make a thin layer. Top with onion mixture. Sprinkle with Parmesan. Bake until heated through, about 20 minutes.
5. Heat broiler. Broil spinach, about 6 inches from broiler element, until cheese is golden brown on top, watching closely to prevent burning, about 2 minutes.
6. Serve warm or hot.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
We shopped for sassy duds we want our Hubba Hubba Hubbys to buy for us for Christmas!
We ate at the WONDERFUL Hollyhock Hill Restaurant.
And we played with the settings on my camera and took cool, random pictures!
A WONDERFUL day! I highly recommend a girl's day like we had today!
Monday, November 3, 2008
I'm really, REALLY tryin' to be patient...........and pray....I DO pray for them....
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
It all paid off!! Hated it, ready to quit, cried through the first couple of practices, and tonight, he was incredibly sad that the season is over. He made HUGE improvements in every way, and though we, as parents, are super proud of him, it was particularly nice to sit and hear the coaches give him accolades in front of his peers and other parents. It was a nice way to end the season, and we are SO thankful for this experience. And...he'll be back next year! :) (after the coaches were done speaking about Boo, of course, I was crying...to which the Hubster replies, "there's no crying in football!!"...what we've been telling Boo from the beginning! :)...)
Parent teacher conferences were last Tues. & Wed., and because they have 1/2 days of school, the PTO provides a lunch for the teachers on the first 1/2 day. I am the Hospitality Chairperson for such functions, so I was responsible for taking care of this. I had a picture, but I accidently deleted it from my camera while trying to download. :( We had Boo's conference and he is the proud recipient of all A's & B's on his report card. Way to go buddy!!
My niece was getting married this past weekend, and I was doing all the cake, food, etc. for that, so I had to shop and start preparing things early in the week. That consumed a LOT of my time. Plus trying to work in a daily 1-1 & 1/2 hour workout each day, and other normal family activities. But it all came off with a wonderful "hitch" and the bride and groom are off for a few days "honeymooning".
Friday, our dear, precious friends welcomed their new little guy into the world and of course, I had to go squeeze him a bit. He's beautiful, and they're absolutely giddy with love and excitement. Such a tiny little bean! :)
Saturday, Boo played in his final football game of the season. He was pretty sad that the season is over. They WON their game, so ended with a 5-2 record, and we couldn't be more proud of him. He came a LONG way from crying at the first practice, saying he wanted to quit, to being sad that the season is over. :) He played his little heart out on Saturday and his big sister and her friends were all there to cheer him on with mom, dad and grandpa!
Then, I took Boo to our small local theater last night and we watched HSM3....topping the weekend off with a good dose of "CHEESE". :)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The best part of this week?? My Peanut is coming home for a visit next weekend!!! I cannot tell you, in words, how much I've missed her. I think that this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. 9 1/2 weeks! I'm so very thankful she's a strong, independent, brilliant young woman, but she's still my baby girl...and I have to stop talking about this now.....only 5 more days!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Today, October 15, is the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy & Infant Loss. (through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss) Though it's been 10 years since the loss of our triplets, and the pain does indeed lessen each year, I don't ever want to forget. To forget what they looked like, to forget holding them in my arms as they drew their last breaths, to forget the peace that overwhelmed us as we said good-bye. And I also never want to forget the comfort that God has granted us over the years, through his Word, through the prayers of others, and the kindness and gentleness of friends and family who remember with us.
Also, please visit Angie's site, and pray for the hundreds of women who are, this day, grieving the loss of their children.
As for me, today, I don't ask for prayers for myself, but for those who have had to experience the heartache and have not been able to come to a place of peace, knowing that their child is playing at the feet of Jesus, and that someday, if we trust Him, we'll be seeing them again.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Well, I'm going to post a most amazing buttery, yummy, fall recipe, but I cannot take the credit. It's a Paula Deen. And when Paula's involved, you KNOW it has butter!! I've made these today for a small catering I was hired to do this evening. These, and Chocolate Caramel Layer Squares, and Apple Dumplings. Man oh man, is the butter flowin' at MY house today!!
Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake
• 1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.
To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.
Serve with fresh whipped cream.
Make at your own risk! :) YUMMMMmmm!!
The Hope of the Resurrection
13 And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died[a] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
With Tender Blessings,
Monday, October 6, 2008
To play along with Linda's Fall Into Flavor, this is a different version of a breakfast casserole. My Grandma passed this recipe on to me, but I'm not sure where she got it. If you like hard-boiled eggs and cheese, you can't go wrong with this...it has LOTS of flavor and definitely not low-fat OR healthy eating. But it's mighty good! Now that the holidays are approaching, there are more opportunities to have breakfast and brunch get-togethers. (at least there are in my family)
SCALLOPED BACON & EGGS
1 cup onion, chopped
½ cup butter or margarine
½ cup flour
4 cups milk
1 # Velveeta cheese, cubed
1 ½ dozen hard cooked eggs, sliced
5 cups plain potato chips, crushed
1 ½ # bacon, fried & crumbled
1. Preheat oven to 325°.
2. In medium/large saucepan, cook onions in butter/margarine until tender and transparent. Blend in flour, milk & cheese to make a sauce. Cook on medium heat, stirring constantly until thick.
3. In a large casserole baking dish, make 2 layers in this order: eggs, sauce, chips, bacon.
4. Bake at 325° until hot through, about 30-45 min. Serves 15. Enjoy!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Boo's school has their Fall Festival today, so we'll be cake walking and playing games and probably bringing home a new water friend...why oh why do they have the goldfish game!?!
It's supposed to be a beautiful day! Enjoy!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I need to figure out some "snacky finger foods" for tomorrow...it's a PBA day (1/2 day of school) and the PTO provides snacks for the teachers for the afternoon. I'm the hospitality chairman, so I'd best get on the ball!
After my workout late this morning I'm having lunch with a friend! I love lunching with friends!!!! This particular friend has been in my life for several years. She is wise and fun and encouraging and challenging! (not as a person, but she challenges me to be what God is calling me to be and to speak into other people's lives!) So I'm looking forward to spending time with her!
This afternoon is a whirlwind of activity, and then we get to my favorite part. Boo has a football game tonight! All wrapped up in my hoodie and blanket, drinking coffee and cheering on my little man and his team is one of the things on my list of favorite things to do! :) Think I'll put on a pot of soup to warm us up when we get home from the game!
GO STEELERS!!!! (my son's Jr. League football team name....NOT to be mistaken as the "other" Steelers!! I'm a COLTS fan through and through!!)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Each year, this day is bittersweet. Knowing that God blessed us with an incredible son in Boo, but yet wondering what it would be like if our triplets had been able to live here on earth with us. Through the last 10 years it's sometimes been overwhelmingly emotional for me, and I choose to retreat, just for a day, to grieve and pray and just be sad. But this year is a year of new beginnings and it starts today. I still miss my babies. I still get sad and cry and grieve, but I'm beginning a new Journey today, and I'm claiming victory over many obstacles in my life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I know that this is part of God's plan, and I'm looking forward, from this day, to greater, healthier things.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
But by golly, he's done it! He's stuck it out, ran drills with the smaller guys, worked through plays, cried a lot of tears, but he's NEVER given up! And we couldn't possibly be prouder. He's got great ball handling, and the coaches recognize that. He's the starting center, and loves every minute of it.
Even when he's doing bear crawls, bends his pinky finger backward, and then....falls on it. :( UGH!!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
One of them has been faced with a situation with a fellow believer where she has witnessed a deep lack of integrity of this person. (they aren't close friends....but co-workers) She's praying about whether she's feeling led to actually confront this person, or if she's to simply pray for them and hope that they see the "error of their ways".
Her argument for doing the latter was that she is a "peacemaker". To which my other friend responded..."a peaceMAKER or peaceKEEPER? Peacemakers tend to have to sacrifice something in order to bring about peace in a situation. Whether it be the possibility of losing a relationship, a job, a life (?)......Peacekeepers tend to be more passive and not want to 'stir the pot', so therefore 'keep' the peace." Then we looked at Ezekiel 3:1-11, 16-21 (this is the New Living Translation) where Ezekiel was commanded by God to go into Israel to deliver a message because of their rebellion against God.
1 The voice said to me, “Son of man, eat what I am giving you—eat this scroll! Then go and give its message to the people of Israel.” 2 So I opened my mouth, and he fed me the scroll. 3 “Fill your stomach with this,” he said. And when I ate it, it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.
4 Then he said, “Son of man, go to the people of Israel and give them my messages. 5 I am not sending you to a foreign people whose language you cannot understand. 6 No, I am not sending you to people with strange and difficult speech. If I did, they would listen! 7 But the people of Israel won’t listen to you any more than they listen to me! For the whole lot of them are hard-hearted and stubborn. 8 But look, I have made you as obstinate and hard-hearted as they are. 9 I have made your forehead as hard as the hardest rock! So don’t be afraid of them or fear their angry looks, even though they are rebels.”
10 Then he added, “Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. 11 Then go to your people in exile and say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says!’ Do this whether they listen to you or not.”
16 After seven days the Lord gave me a message. He said, 17 “Son of man, I have appointed you as a watchman for Israel. Whenever you receive a message from me, warn people immediately. 18 If I warn the wicked, saying, ‘You are under the penalty of death,’ but you fail to deliver the warning, they will die in their sins. And I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 19 If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me.
20 “If righteous people turn away from their righteous behavior and ignore the obstacles I put in their way, they will die. And if you do not warn them, they will die in their sins. None of their righteous acts will be remembered, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 21 But if you warn righteous people not to sin and they listen to you and do not sin, they will live, and you will have saved yourself, too.”
Being a peaceMAKER is quite obviously the more difficult for someone who is generally a 'KEEPER'.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The responses have been thought-provoking. Joyful, disappointed, heartwrenching....so many stories to read.....
Here was my response.
My life is good. It hasn’t been easy, and I still make mistakes, but I like to believe that I’ve grown through those mistakes and they don’t happen daily now…just weekly. 20 years ago I was getting ready to marry the father of the child I was 4 months pregnant with. Now I’m married to the love of my life. It’s the same man I married almost 20 years ago, but God has blessed us, and drawn us together more deeply than I could have ever known. That child, our daughter, has grown into a beautiful woman of God who has attainable goals, incredible dreams and high hopes for her own future. We couldn’t be more proud of her.
10 years ago we were preparing for the biggest ride of our lives. We thought it was the birth and adventure of raising our long awaited triplets. It was, in fact, the birth and death of our sweet precious babies.
8 years ago we welcomed our son into the world…the world that told us that we’d never have any other children. God proved them wrong.
Not the life I ever in a million years dreamed of as I was growing up, but much, much more. Through heartaches and trials, laughter and joy, we’ve persevered. Life isn’t easy……but it’s good……and I’m so deeply thankful and blessed.
Monday, August 4, 2008
...as I think specifically of a family, mourning the loss of their 17 year old daughter to menengitis. As I think of a sweet friend, remembering her momma who passed away almost one year ago, and the sweet reminders that God has been sending her in a tiny lavendar butterfly. Of the sickness of my husband's co-worker to the awful effects of cancer. As a mom struggles with the difficulties surrounding her adopted teenage son. And maybe it has something to do with this time of year that holds a special place in my heart...as I remember and celebrate and give thanks for each moment God has chosen to use me and grow me for his Glory alone......
A Time for Everything
1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
13 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. 14 Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.
I HAVE experienced his perfect love. I've embraced it, I've felt it, I've shared it............so no need for fear and I will trust that what God is writing on my heart is part of his perfect plan for me.
There's a Twila Paris song I used to sing a long time ago....I think I need to read over these lyrics a few times....here they are for you to read as well....
Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?
I know the answers,
I've given them all.
But suddenly now,
I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?
I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
This is something I've been hoping for and praying about for a while now......sounds like this new opportunity is an open door, huh? I'm excited at where this is going. :)
Thank you, Lord. I don't have it all mastered, but I desire to, so help me share my passion!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Take care of myself
Eat small portions
Exercise once a day
Spend time with God EVERY day, no matter what
Listen to music
Pray continually, without ceasing
Take care of my husband
Fix healthy meals
Encourage him to eat right
Encourage him to exercise…exercise with him!
Pray for him and with him
Encourage him to spend intimate time with God each day
Encourage him to be more like Jesus each day
Listen to his needs of intimacy
Ask him to hold me accountable
Hold him accountable
Take care of my children
Provide healthy meals and snacks
Encourage exercise and join them in it!
Encourage them from the inside, out.
Pray for them and with them
Encourage them to spend intimate time with God each day
Encourage them from the inside, out.
Remind them that they are created for God’s use and purpose
Show them EVERY day how to love others
Ask them to hold me accountable
Hold them accountable
COMMUNICATE AND LISTEN!
Be LOVING, OPEN, HONEST, OBEDIENT, REPENTANT.
Be raw and intimate with those closest to me.
Plan my days
Nurture those around me
Sunday, July 27, 2008
God is revealing a lot in my life lately...and not just in my life, but in the lives of a large group of people in our community.
Could this be the change we've been praying for?
I'm looking forward to sharing more and seeing what others think. As I've stated before, I'm not much of a writer and I tend to ramble, but if someone can make sense of what I type and actually care to read it, then by all means...........I'll ramble on.
Blessings for your day!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
Proverbs 24 (New Living Translation)
1 Don’t envy evil people or desire their company.
2 For their hearts plot violence, and their words always stir up trouble.
3 A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.
5 The wise are mightier than the strong,[a] and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger.
6 So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers.
7 Wisdom is too lofty for fools. Among leaders at the city gate, they have nothing to say.
8 A person who plans evil will get a reputation as a troublemaker.
9 The schemes of a fool are sinful; everyone detests a mocker.
10 If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small.
11 Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death.
12 Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.
13 My child,[b] eat honey, for it is good, and the honeycomb is sweet to the taste.
14 In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future, and your hopes will not be cut short.
Thank you, Lord, for revealing this to me today. And thank you, for the words that you place into the minds and mouths of those much younger than I....help me to learn. Their quest for the Truth puts hunger into my soul.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
I've enjoyed the few times I've caught Oprah's Big Give on Sunday nights, but let me tell you, I am SO glad that the person who was voted off last night is no longer there! UGH!
We've had a wonderful visit with precious friends for the past several days...I'm sad it had to end and they had to return to Tennessee, but in just a year or so, they'll be back near here to live again, so YAY! :)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Friday is my favorite day of the week. I know that for the working population, it's a favorite because it means the end of the work week, whether it was particularly stressful or not. But for me it's because it means that I get to spend more time with my family. And hopefully the weekend isn't jam-packed so full that I don't get to enjoy them.
I have really really enjoyed my guys this weekend. Snow and all! :) Have I mentioned lately that I'm so happy to be a SAHM again? :)
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
As I was driving from Indianapolis to home, in the freezing rain, looking at the ice covered trees, fences, road signs, etc., Peanut was calling from the beautifully breath-taking state of Hawaii. "It's in the mid 80's, Mom." My response? "I love you! And I'm SO glad you're having this opportunity, but Pbbbttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :) All I heard was evil laughter!! The nerve! ;)
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
We're praying for safety in travel, and while they're in HI. Praying that God would use each of them how he sees fit. Praying for health and wellness in their voices. And praying for rest!!
When many of them return, they'll be jumping right back into rehearsals for Pirates of Penzance, so there won't be much time to recover from jet lag. Praying that their bodies get the rest they need on the return trip, etc.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
I told my mom about it, and she got pretty emotional, even though she didn't know them......I'm sure it brought back a flood of memories. She was pregnant with me when she and daddy lost absolutely everything when their house burned to the ground...almost 40 years ago.
It could happen to ANY of us....
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Boo mentioned again today that he was tired of the cold weather...I asked him if he'd like to move somewhere where it was warmer, with no snow. He said, "yeah!" until he thought about what that might mean...."um, no, I take that back mom. I don't want to leave my friends." Kids are resilient. If God says go, and we go, he'll be okay. I'd just rather do it when he's younger rather than older.
We're going ahead with original plans for this afternoon, so YAY!
I got a call this morning from my FORMER employer...LOL...my replacement is sick already and called in this morning. They wanted me to come in. I declined, of course. If I go in every time she calls, it will completely defeat the purpose for me choosing to stay home! I just find it funny...not in a mean sort of way, but just odd funny.
I'm sure my blogging will get more interesting as I come up with more of a purpose for it, but for now, ya'll just have to read the boring stuff....sorry. :)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday was my last day at work. Guess where I went this morning after dropping Boo off at school?? Work. Yep! I'm a sucker. Okay, not really...it was just the new teacher's first full day by herself, and the Foster Grandmothers had the holiday off, so I said I would go in for just a couple of hours. They only ended up having 4 babies today, so it worked out well. It was REALLY odd though. I wasn't "in charge" anymore. But I was totally okay with that. :)
So Peanut just posted on my Facebook...."mom, pray pray pray, cause I lost my phone!" UGH!!!! When she realized she'd left it somewhere, she went back, but it was gone. She's hoping it will turn up, or she said she'll call campus safety. Now, I'd LOVE to give others the benefit of the doubt. It's a small, Christian college. Everyone just about knows everyone else, so I'm praying that it turns up...VERY soon. I've called it and noone answers.
The Hubster has a nasty fever and cold. Came home from work early. Had already had the rest of the week scheduled off, so....we'll see. He's got a little "procedure" scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Hoping they'll still do it even though he's got this cold. It has NOTHING to do with his head. LOL!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I was asked a while back if I would share the story of our babies, and I haven’t done that yet. It’s very long, and at times, difficult to read, but I pray it will give you a vision of God’s grace and love, strength, comfort and peace. I pray it is an example of what amazing things we can endure if we just let go and let Him carry us through our heartache. Our Hope remains.
Mike and I were married (almost 20 years ago now…in 2008) (updated again...here it is 2012, and 23 years later...wow!), when I was 4 months pregnant with our daughter, Karen. We hadn’t planned it that way, but it was never a mistake. God covered us with grace, and brought a beautiful blessing out of our wrong choices. Two months after we were married, Mike left for delayed entry into the Air Force. He came home to us on his birthday, and saw his 4 week old daughter for the first time. One week later, we left for our first duty station in Florida. When Karen was approx. 2, we decided we wanted to try for another baby….so, we tried, and tried, and tried…month after month. VERY long story short, we tried for 7 years, with no success. It was heartbreaking, stressful, and the complete focus of my life for a very long time. Throughout this process I had seen military docs, had some tests, went to Bethesda Fertility Clinic, was told nothing was wrong with me, and took Clomid for a while. We eventually separated from the Air Force after 9 years active duty, (lots of moves, deployments, and Desert Storm in there, where Mike was gone for 9 months to Saudi) and came home to Indiana. We talked about what to do, and began researching doctors, etc. I was referred to a fertility clinic in Indy, went to see the doc, and within ½ hour of meeting with him, and some blood tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I had some tests done, minor procedures done, and within one month was having surgery to remove polyps that had grown in my uterus. Because we had tried Clomid already, and didn’t want the risk of being on it too long, we pursued another (injectable) drug. In a matter of two cycles, I was pregnant!! For those of you not familiar with fertility treatments, it requires many hours of travel, tests, journaling, scheduling, etc., etc. We found out early on in my pregnancy, within the first month, that I was indeed carrying triplets. We were ECSTATIC! I had a VERY uneventful pregnancy. Felt fabulous, ate right, did everything I was “supposed” to do. I was monitored closely, had surgery to stitch my cervix closed at 13 weeks, and was sailin’ along. I was released to my high risk OB, and things were going well. I joined a moms of multiples group, we moved our bedroom out of the larger, master bedroom, which became the nursery, started decorating, planning 2 or 3 baby showers, had 3 cribs, just all the things that come with planning for a baby’s arrival, only multiplied by three. Karen was excited, our families were excited, and we were walking on clouds.
Aug. 23, 1998 was a Sunday. Mike stayed home from church with a cold, and Karen and I went. The sermon that morning was entitled, “Life’s Supreme Crisis”. Pastor talked about how we go through trials, difficult times, and all God wants us to do is surrender all we have to him. The sermon touched me, and I was very emotional. I prayed during that service that I would let go of things I was “holding on to”, and that ultimately, the babies I was carrying were His, and I surrendered…Your will be done Lord… I was pretty peaceful. I went to Sunday school then, and shared with my class that I was struggling with thoughts and emotions that something “just wasn’t right”. (this was only a stirring in me at this point…I had no idea of what was to come) I shared that it probably had a lot to do with pregnancy hormones, and that one of the moms in my Moms of Multiples group had lost her babies (also triplets) the week prior.
We went home after church, and after a quick lunch, we all laid down for naps. I woke from my nap feeling “odd”. Went to the bathroom, and that was when I felt something….I went back to the bed, and immediately woke Mike, who called the doctor. I went to the local hospital for an OB to check me out, and things began to move very quickly. Surrounded by family, the doctor told me that the lowest sac was protruding, that my cerclage (stitch) had torn, and that I was going to have to be transported to another hospital. I was put into trendellenburg position, and rode 30 miles that way to the hospital. I was immediately taken into surgery, and my stitch was repaired. I came out of surgery still carrying all three of my precious babies. Something had triggered me to go into early labor, and I had started contracting without any knowledge from me. They determined I had a UTI, and that was probably what caused it.
I spent 4 ½ weeks, in and out of the hospital. I was on icky, horrid drugs to help stop contractions, and though strict bed rest was difficult, but I was willing to do absolutely anything to carry my babies to term. Not only our own family, but our church family was AWESOME! They prepared meals for an entire month for our family. They helped out in any way they could. At 22 ½ weeks, I ended up in the hospital again, and was there one week when our lives changed forever…
At 23 1/2 weeks, the morning of September 29, 1998, I told my nurse that something didn’t feel right, could she call the doctor. One of the docs in the OB practice was delivering right then, and as soon as she was finished, within 15 min. or so, she came in to check on me. I was in active labor. Mike was at work…1 ½ hours away. My grandma was at the hospital visiting me, so I wasn’t alone. Things started happening so quickly. I was in a fog. Orders were being given, the room filled with doctors and nurses, and incubators were brought in. I was crying, quiet, peaceful tears….I knew God was going to take care of me and my babies…no matter what. It all happened so fast. I gave them Mike’s work number, and he made it to the hospital in record time…I know God was guiding his car, and as I look back, he drove by himself, almost 90 miles, not knowing if his children or his wife would be alive when he arrived…. One particular nurse, her name was Dana, came to my head, held my hand, and asked me if she could pray with me. As she was praying I was, once again, overcome with peace. I began to softly sing outloud, “Surely the presence of the Lord is in the place, I can feel his mighty power and his grace. I can hear the brush of angel’s wings, I see glory on each face. Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.” I truly, with my whole heart, believe that God was present in that room….I could FEEL him.
By the time Mike had arrived, Elizabeth Anne and Nathanial James had been born. Both babies were alive, but struggling for every breath. The doctors tried all they could, but their perfect precious bodies were just too weak to survive outside of mommy so soon. Nathanial died after 20 min, and Elizabeth died 25 min. later, in my arms, laying on my chest. I stroked their precious bodies, looked at every inch of them, sang to them, and told them how much mommy and daddy loved them, but that Jesus loved them more, and he was going to take care of them for us. I cannot in human words possibly explain to you the strength God granted me at that time. It was never denial. It was complete and utter strength and peace that the Holy Spirit was filling me with.
Nathanial and Elizabeth laid in my arms almost up to the time when I gave birth to Zachary David. Zachary was born in his sac, protected from any infection or outside germs, and as his sac was broken, he let out a precious squeak. I can still hear that sound…..
Zachary was much stronger than his brother and sister, and the doctors immediately took him to the NICU. He was doing well after an hour or so, and Mike went home to get Karen. He felt she needed to hear it from him…
Oh, the strength of a child………Mike told Karen that Nathanial and Elizabeth had died, and her response was this, “They’re perfect now Daddy.” With that, I envision my children playing at the feet of Jesus, never to know the ills and pains of this world. God is truly good!
When they returned to the hospital, Mike was allowed to take Karen into the NICU to see her baby brother. She touched him, told him she loved him, and called him Rocky….”our little fighter”. We were all able to spend time by his side, hooked up to machines, fighting for his life. But after 17 hard hours, his little body had fought as hard as it could, and we had to make the most difficult decision yet, to turn off the machines, and let him go in peace, in our arms, as his brother and sister had. Before making that decision, Mike and I were able to go to the NICU, and I rocked Zachary and held him and kissed his toes and sang Jesus Loves Me to him. It was a precious, heartbreaking time, but I know he knew his mommy was there, protecting him and surrendering him to the Father.
I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know what to say to you to help you understand what peace, strength and comfort God granted through this heartbreaking time in our lives, and continues to grant to this day. It was just God. It was surrender to allow him to do as he knew best. It was knowing that we had Hope. That we knew, beyond any doubt, that we would see our children again. We have knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We have accepted that precious Gift that God had given to us, and we will one day, hold our children in our arms again.
I also want you to know that I have had many sleepless nights, agonizing over the loss of our babies. I have cried too many tears to count, and I have been angry. I have sat in the cemetery and screamed and beaten the ground and wept like I’ve never wept before, but through the tears, and the anger, and the grief, God has carried me through. The pain does lessen as the years go by, but their birthday is always especially difficult. God has given me a wonderful family and an awesome group of friends who always remember what a tender time that is for me, and I feel very loved and cared for on that day as I grieve and reflect. My prayer has always been that He be glorified through it all. We are using the comfort He has given us to help others. Through their grief, their questions, their heartache. We, as humans, don’t have the answers, but we know who does.
The evidence of God’s grace and miracles doesn’t stop there in our story. After the babies died, we agonized over whether to try for more children. I was told by the doctors that I wouldn’t get pregnant without more fertility help, and if I ever did get pregnant, I wouldn’t carry to term. We prayed, I agonized, I cried, I tried to control it. And God, once again, brought me to a point of total and complete surrender. But this process didn’t come easily. I finally knew in my heart what I’d always said with my mouth and thought in my head. That it would be okay if I never had another child. I knew that God KNEW my desires, and if I would just let go, he would show me his perfect plan. So…I did……..I gave up. I said, “Lord, YOUR will be done.”, and the very afternoon that I prayed that prayer, and was sure of it with all of my heart, I found out that I was pregnant. Words cannot even describe what was going on in my heart by then…
I carried Matthew (our “Gift of God”), not only to term, but 3 days overdue. Our God is so cool……
(Matthew just celebrated his 8th birthday!)(updated: Matthew will be 12 in just a little over a week, and he's now taller than his momma.)
I had to update once again. God continually gives me little hugs and kisses in wonderfully random ways to remind me that He's still taking care of my sweet babies and that one day, I'll hold them in my arms. The year 2011 brought their 13th birthday. Teenagers they would be! WOW! I now own a cake design business and one of the things I love to do is come up with special birthday cakes for my kids.
On the triplets 13th birthday, God sent someone to me who ordered a 13th birthday cake...so in a way, I got to make a cake for "THEIR" birthday. Once again I say.....Our God is SO cool!!
Sweet sweet blessings!!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Let me preface this post by telling you that I'm a caregiver for 6 infants, ages 7-11 months, at a childcare ministry designed to provide care for children of teen moms and moms continuing their education.
This decision came after much praying, talking and LOTS of crying, but I'm going back to being a SAHM. First of all, I know that there are MANY of you who would LOVE to do this, but don't have the freedom to do so, so I want you to know that I realize how very blessed I am to be able to make this decision without money being the issue.
We've weighed the pros and cons, prayed a lot about it, and though I'm really sad (MOSTLY because I HATE HATE HATE that I'm not going to be a daily constant in the lives of the babies I've already built bonds with), I have a complete peace that I'm doing the right thing.
What it boils down to (and some agree and some disagree) is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am FIRST to be an excellent wife and mother to my husband and child still living at home. And working outside the home, in the job I've been working in, has left me exhausted, sick at times, and taken me away from doing what I know God wants me to do.
My house is in disarray most times, the laundry piles up MUCH more than it ever has, we eat out WAY too often, I'm not available or don't have the energy to help Matthew and spend time with Matthew like I know he deserves....and the list goes on and on. I've come to realize that Matthew deserves to have me here, just as much as Karen did, and that I cannot, since $ isn't the issue, short him that way, kwim?
This job was given to me at a MUCH needed time in my life. Making the transition of having our daughter off to college, and finding out who I really was, was something I know that God provided that job for. For a season, I touched the lives of other babies and young mommies, and know that it was for a purpose, but now it's time for me to step back and do again what I know I was called to do.
I cannot tell you how many tears I have shed over this...and I sit here crying as I type. Mostly because I have such an incredibly deep love for those babies....I cannot even describe it. I've felt guilty for leaving, like I'm a quitter, but that, I know, as God has revealed to me, is just the enemy keeping me from focusing on what I know in my heart is right. I know that God will provide someone else just as, or more so qualified than I am.
It's a VERY hard job, for VERY little pay (though that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the reason I'm leaving) and it really is ideal for someone not looking for the $, but for somewhere to serve, to minister. But right now, my place to serve and minister is in my home....
So....there ya have it. That's what's been swimmin' around in my brain and my heart for the past several weeks.... I've told my boss (who is VERY sad that I'm leaving but just as equally as supportive) that I would give her a couple of weeks, and help train whoever she hires for that position.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
So.....um, let's try this again.