Steps of Faith

Just What I Needed!

2010-08-30T11:45:00.003-04:00

As I am preparing for an INCREDIBLY busy September, I'm beginning to get a little bit overwhelmed, waking at 2am, making mental lists in my head, not able to sleep. Not good for a Monday morning. And of course, as God knows each of us intimately, knows exactly what we need and when we need it, I open my devotions this morning to this verse.

Psalms 116:7 Return to your rest, O my soul, for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

There is a LOT going on right now. God continues to supply our every single need. (I didn't say wants, I said NEEDS) And then sometimes he blesses us with a want, just because he loves us SO much. But he knows my every thought...he knows how to speak to me...and he's reminding me to rest. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. HE will accomplish what needs to be done. HE will finish the GOOD work he's begun in me. THANK YOU LORD!!!

Lack of Blogging

2010-03-09T15:35:00.004-05:00

I wonder sometimes if I should just forget about sleep in order to blog, since I can't seem to find the time to do it. It's either this or Facebook and I'm connected to more people on FB....I'm not sure ANYONE reads my blog.........:::crickets chirping:::......see, I thought not! ;)

I'm embarking on new journeys and I think God is testing me to see JUST HOW MUCH I'm willing to surrender for Him. I'll let you know if I pass.... ;)

Snow Day!

2010-02-06T13:50:00.004-05:00

Great thing about being snowed in today is lots of prep time for our SUPERBOWL festivities tomorrow!!!

Here's just one of the little things Matthew and I just did. FUN!

Now off to make the hummus!!

GO COLTS!!

Healing Rain

2010-01-23T06:47:00.003-05:00

In early December 2009, my dear friend, Melissa Espiritu, was given the diagnosis of a rare, aggressive form of stage 4 gastric cancer. She is a pastor's wife, mother of 6 beautiful girls, ages 19-6, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a dear, precious friend.

God is using this journey of pain & disease in Melissa's life to bring glory to himself. Doctors, with scientific knowledge, had given Melissa 3 months to make memories, spend time with her family & friends, and say goodbye. God, on the other hand, is revealing himself to people in amazing, incredible ways, and is giving Melissa strength, energy, and most of all....healing.

As He draws different people, from different denominations, each week together in Melissa's family room, surrounding her with song, prayer, praise, prophesy and HEALING, HE is becoming the BEACON OF HOPE that our city, our county, so DESPERATELY needs!

If we, as Christians, as those who have FAITH in Jesus Christ, believe that God is EXACTLY who he says he is, and believe HIS WORD is true, then WE BELIEVE that he is the God of MIRACLES, and that our dear, precious friend, Melissa, will be COMPLETELY healed, live a long, healthy life, and see ALL of her daughters grow into beautiful grown women of God, just like their momma!

Respondents

2010-01-19T16:07:00.004-05:00

Remember that name......God has annointed them and blessed them with talent that is pleasing and glorifying to Him!

Please go here The Naked Gospel Project and register, listen to their song, Grace Through Faith, and vote for it (DAILY)!

Closing Out The Year

2009-12-31T10:53:00.002-05:00

I'm not going to waste time explaining my lack of writing, because by now, you all know what a horrible blogger I am. I also won't waste your time by promising to write more in the coming year because I really don't know that I can. But I'll try....how's that?

This year has been full of ups & downs, as most people can say. Personally, I'm at a place, spiritually, that I've never been before. My faith is stronger, my trust is deeper and the refining fire has been H.O.T.!!!

I'm a woman of few words, but I pray each day that my actions will reflect my character & integrity, and that others will be inspired to live & BE for God, as they take THEIR steps of faith in the new year.

Blessings,
Kim

Voice of Truth

2009-09-18T10:04:00.002-04:00

I've just been thinking a lot this morning about all the "things" we do to feel loved and accepted. I pray that I have and will continue to instill in my children that there is NOTHING they have to do to be loved and accepted. God loves us because he created us. There is nothing that this world can tell me or do to me that's going to change that. I CHOOSE to listen & believe the Voice of Truth.

Something smells in here!

2009-09-08T06:09:00.002-04:00

Yep...it's the "stinkiness" of my blogging!! I shouldn't even be allowed to have a blog! :)

Perhaps I should do some blog-cleaning!

This concludes my thoughts on that subject at 6am.

Blessings!

Thankful Thursday

2009-05-28T09:59:00.003-04:00

I'm incredibly weepy and humble and grateful today....so I needed to write a Thankful Thursday post....

Thankful for a hard working, loving, compassionate husband, who is seeking God for wisdom and direction and perseverance.

Thankful that my daughter is coming home with a broken heart for the people of South Africa, with the deepest love down in the depths of her spirit for God and what he wants for her life.

Thankful for a son who is growing closer to Jesus each day as he learns and searches and loves.

Thankful for the gift of music. It speaks to the heart like nothing else.

Thankful for opportunities to grow closer to my Abba Father.

Thankful for guidance from the Holy Spirit in my daily walk with God. His still small voice.

Thankful for tears.....they wash my soul.....

World Traveler

2009-05-12T14:16:00.003-04:00

I don't know how to write something without getting all sappy and reflective and going on and on and on about my kid, so I'll just share one of the things that's happening in our family right now.

Peanut is flying out of O'Hare airport at 5pm, bound first for London...a 12 hour lay-over, and then on to Johannesburg, South Africa. She'll be there until flying back to Chicago on the 29th.....she's going with a mission group from the church she attends up in No. Indiana.

My baby is so grown up.....sigh.

Lord, keep her safe, give her rest, and make her heart overflow with love for each one she comes in contact with. She's yours, use her for YOUR glory!

Thankfulness

2009-04-30T05:34:00.003-04:00

I realize I'm a really stinky blogger. It's a fact.

I've been up since 3:09 this morning. This is when I got a txt from our precious, dear friends that their third child had just been born. Mommy & Baby are doing just fine and I cannot wait until the break of dawn, so I can begin my day, take Matthew to school, Mike to work and go get me some baby lovin'. :)

The past few days I've just been in awe of God's goodness and love and can't seem to stop the flow of tears and overwhelming thankfulness that won't stop pouring from my heart. HE receives all the glory for my life. HE receives all the praise for answered prayers. HE receives the glory for ALL...........

Last week, my dear friend Ginger's daughter, Sarah, was in a horrible car accident. She was life-lined to Indy. She was texting while she was driving. She ended up with 37 or 38 stitches in her face and a fractured sternum, but was spared from death by God's great mercy and given another chance at the life that He has planned for her. You see, as a child, Sarah prayed and accepted Jesus into her heart and was baptized. But as she grew up, she was running further and further away from God. She even began questioning and declaring he didn't exist. But last week, God proved to her that he did indeed exist and has had his hand on her life from the very beginning of her life....and through God's great mercy and the prayers of faithful warriors, Sarah recognized exactly who it was who spared her life and turned her heart back to God. She is a new creature in Christ and her new life, her second chance to give HIM glory, has just begun.

Lord, I am in awe!

Isn't it ironic?

2009-01-27T17:10:00.007-05:00

I don't know....you draw your own conclusions.

BUTT....(yes...pun intended here! HAHA!)

I just HAD to post this today because Greg wrote a great post today about American Standard potties...only it really wasn't about the potty...but it's a funny one! Check it out!

Not long ago my hubby, son and I were staying in a hotel for a quick overnight....and this is what we found.

Please look closer at the "name" of the potty.

Now...I'm not trying to be cynical or get into any debates about the state of our churches today, (and I KNOW it isn't ALL of them...) but I'm just sayin'.....

My Firstborn

2009-01-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

I think that every momma looks back on their child's life each year as they celebrate their birthdays and wonder....."Where has the time gone?" I get especially sentimental and weepy around this time of year because we celebrate both Boo's AND Peanut's birthdays!

20 years ago this one became the center of our universe.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!

My Boo..

2009-01-18T07:03:00.006-05:00

I had planned on celebrating my little man here today anyway, and then Greg at Greg's General Store had played along on a tag...go to your photo files, choose the 4th folder and post the 4th picture in that folder. So I told him I would do the same...

Well here it is!

This was my little man in Kindergarten...getting ready for Camp something or other in their classroom for that day.

And today, he turns 9! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO!!! You were prayed for, and God answered our prayers....you truly are a "Gift from God".

sidenote: when, btw, do I have to stop calling him "Boo"?? When he's 15? 20?

Stranded...

2009-01-08T17:37:00.010-05:00

First of all I want to state the incredibly obvious and say, "I am a HORRIBLE blogger!" I was chatting with a friend the other night and she asked when I was going to update my blog and I assured her I would do it soon, but that truly, I don't lead a very exciting life and am not generally good with words, so really, why would anyone want to read my blog?

And then something terribly exciting and adventuresome happened....

Are you ready for this? Sitting on the edge of your seats? Ready to laugh your head off?

It all began.....

We have one vehicle to drive in our family, and I needed to take Peanut back up to school after Christmas break, so my parents, who are ALWAYS incredibly helpful in these instances, offered their van to us so that my hubby could have the car we have to drive to work.

I taught water aerobics on Wednesday morning and our plan was to leave (K & I) as soon as I got home...around 9:45-10am. On my way home from the gym, the power steering went out on the van, so I called my dad. He then borrowed my Grandma's car, and they brought my dad's truck to us so that we could go ahead with our plans. They had the van towed (it ended up being the water pump...it sprayed fluid on a belt and it slipped off) and we finally got on our way at 11:30am.

We were havin' a GREAT trip! The roads were completely clear! The sun was trying to peek through the clouds. We had the music jammin', we were talking about all we hadn't caught up on in the past couple of weeks, we were rollin' right along and I was on course to get her and her (incredibly large pile of) stuff delivered to school and return home by 8ish Wed. evening. We were literally 30 minutes from South Bend...ALMOST to our destination...(remember it takes 3-3 1/2 hours to get there)...and the oil gauge plummets and the "check gauges" light comes on.

Earlier, before we had left, my dad explained to me that this might happen. That there was a sensor messed up, and that it would recover.

It wasn't recovering........

It started knocking.........

I immediately pulled off the main highway, turned onto a side street and off to the side of someone's long driveway. In the middle of farm country. No town or service station or anything "public" close by. We were....stranded.

I called my dad, and making an incredibly exciting (read:boring) story short, they were coming to get us.....so, we waited, and waited, and waited......remember, it's a 3-3 1/2 hour drive to our destination, we were almost there!!!!!! They had to tie up loose ends at home and they left to make "The Rescue". By the time they reached us... (thank you Lord, for technology, cell phones, and wireless internet connections in the middle of farm country in north central Indiana!!!!!)...we had a 3 1/2 hour adventure in the truck, on the side of the road!

Now most of you who will read this know me personally, so you know that I just looked at the bright side of it all, and K and I had us a party!! We laughed! and we crocheted! and we sang! and we thanked God for all the blessings that were coming out of this! and we prayed for safety, talked on the phone, texted with our friends, and just made the best of our great adventure!

And of course, what kind of "paparazzi" goes anywhere without her camera to document what MIGHT happen?!?! Not this one!!!

The view around us...

Our stash of snacks!

Our HAPPY FACES!!

By the end of the adventure, we were pretty cold, but we had dug out all of K's hats, mittens, and scarves that she had packed away.

The end of the story is just as exciting (read:boring) as the rest...K (and all her stuff) has been delivered to school, I finally made it home a little after midnight, and all is right with the fam now. My parents already have their van back and the truck is in the shop!

"But Mommy, I Can't Wait!"

2008-12-09T22:36:00.005-05:00

Santa's Secret Shop is full of nic nacs, silly toys, plastic "junk" that is sure to eventually find it's way to the trash can, the rummage pile, or the bottom of the toy box. It's an opportunity for kiddos to give someone special to them a little something for Christmas. Sometimes, it gets wrapped, and makes it under the tree, to be opened on Christmas Day...

Sometimes they just can't wait...

And they're priceless treasures that will be put away in a special place to be remembered for years......

Gold butterfly ring, with two red stones, sure to turn my finger green in a matter of days....

Priceless.

Baby Got Some Pipes!!!

2008-12-09T22:22:00.004-05:00

This past weekend we traveled north for 4 1/2 hours through a nasty snowstorm on a trip that usually takes 3 hours.

But I would have WALKED through said snowstorm to hear my baby girl sing...

The Joy In My Heart!

2008-11-25T05:03:00.004-05:00

Peanut's comin' home today!! Tonight, she'll be sleeping HERE! And sleeping....and sleeping....and sleeping............

.......and like any normal college kid, she's bringing home mounds of laundry as well... *deep contented sigh* ...bring it on!

Another reason I am looking forward to this day is to see the joy on Boo's face! He misses his sister SO much and has been counting down the days for her to come home, "for 5 WHOLE nights!"

Blessings!
Happy Momma

Fall Into Flavor

2008-11-17T16:31:00.004-05:00

I know I've failed miserably on Fall Into Flavor recently, but it's really REALLY hard to post butter, sinful, deliciousness when I'm DESPARATELY trying to watch every calorie that goes into my mouth! HAHA!

So I thought today, I'd post a recipe I recently found while searching for spinach dishes.....and this one has 3 different cheeses in it (actually it has 4 if you want to count the Parm on top!), so though not low-fat, there is NO butter! :) This would be a fantastic addition to a Thanksgiving feast!!

Baked Spinach with Three Cheeses

1 medium onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/2 cup grated Edam cheese
1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 tablespoons fresh bread crumbs
1 egg yolk
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 (10-ounce) packages ready-to-use fresh baby spinach
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

1. Preheat oven to 350*C (175*C). Lightly butter a 12-inch oval gratin pan or an 11 x 7-inch baking dish.
2. Mix onion, feta cheese, Edam cheese, blue cheese, dill, nutmeg, bread crumbs, egg yolk and nutmeg in a small bowl. Set aside.
3. In a large pot or Dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add spinach and saute until wilted and juices evaporate, about 3 minutes. Transfer to strainer; drain well. Shake strainer up and down to remove as much liquid as possible.
4. Arrange spinach in prepared baking dish. It will make a thin layer. Top with onion mixture. Sprinkle with Parmesan. Bake until heated through, about 20 minutes.
5. Heat broiler. Broil spinach, about 6 inches from broiler element, until cheese is golden brown on top, watching closely to prevent burning, about 2 minutes.
6. Serve warm or hot.

Good Friends, Good Food, Good Times!

2008-11-08T22:09:00.011-05:00

I am so very blessed to have such great friends in my life. Connie is one of those precious people in my life that I am blessed to call friend. And I got to spend my day with her today!

We shopped for sassy duds we want our Hubba Hubba Hubbys to buy for us for Christmas!

We ate at the WONDERFUL Hollyhock Hill Restaurant.

And we played with the settings on my camera and took cool, random pictures!

A WONDERFUL day! I highly recommend a girl's day like we had today!

QUITCHERBELLYACHIN!!

2008-11-03T11:47:00.003-05:00

How do you politely, yet firmly, inform your new neighbors, who live but mere feet from your doorstep, to please, PLEASE stop the madness?!?! I don't think they realized that there was a time change this weekend...because instead of screaming at each other, at the TOP of their lungs, while going in and out the doors at 6:30am, yesterday morning we were subject to the human alarm clocks at 5:30am.

I'm really, REALLY tryin' to be patient...........and pray....I DO pray for them....

Punkin Fun!

2008-10-30T16:41:00.004-04:00

It's been YEARS since I've carved a pumpkin. But I'm really glad we did this year...the roasted pumpkin seeds are FABULOUS!

There's No Crying In Football!!

2008-10-27T23:34:00.004-04:00

BooBoo has always been a big boy (in size), but he's not particularly tough. He's very tender-hearted, and at times can be quite sensitive. But...he's a natural at ball handling, and wanted to try football this season. We signed him up, and after the first practice, he was ready to quit. It was tough! It's one thing to be able to throw a perfect spiral, catch and handle the ball like a pro, and it's a completely different thing to run drills, exercise, and condition while wearing all the pads, gear, helmet, etc. His coaches were tough, but very fair, and wouldn't allow Matthew to make excuses or give up.

It all paid off!! Hated it, ready to quit, cried through the first couple of practices, and tonight, he was incredibly sad that the season is over. He made HUGE improvements in every way, and though we, as parents, are super proud of him, it was particularly nice to sit and hear the coaches give him accolades in front of his peers and other parents. It was a nice way to end the season, and we are SO thankful for this experience. And...he'll be back next year! :) (after the coaches were done speaking about Boo, of course, I was crying...to which the Hubster replies, "there's no crying in football!!"...what we've been telling Boo from the beginning! :)...)

Wonderful Weekend!

2008-10-27T11:42:00.009-04:00

I know I already told ya'll how busy my week was last week, so I'll just follow it up by saying it was great, but thank God it's over! :)

Parent teacher conferences were last Tues. & Wed., and because they have 1/2 days of school, the PTO provides a lunch for the teachers on the first 1/2 day. I am the Hospitality Chairperson for such functions, so I was responsible for taking care of this. I had a picture, but I accidently deleted it from my camera while trying to download. :( We had Boo's conference and he is the proud recipient of all A's & B's on his report card. Way to go buddy!!

My niece was getting married this past weekend, and I was doing all the cake, food, etc. for that, so I had to shop and start preparing things early in the week. That consumed a LOT of my time. Plus trying to work in a daily 1-1 & 1/2 hour workout each day, and other normal family activities. But it all came off with a wonderful "hitch" and the bride and groom are off for a few days "honeymooning".

Friday, our dear, precious friends welcomed their new little guy into the world and of course, I had to go squeeze him a bit. He's beautiful, and they're absolutely giddy with love and excitement. Such a tiny little bean! :)

Saturday, Boo played in his final football game of the season. He was pretty sad that the season is over. They WON their game, so ended with a 5-2 record, and we couldn't be more proud of him. He came a LONG way from crying at the first practice, saying he wanted to quit, to being sad that the season is over. :) He played his little heart out on Saturday and his big sister and her friends were all there to cheer him on with mom, dad and grandpa!

Then, I took Boo to our small local theater last night and we watched HSM3....topping the weekend off with a good dose of "CHEESE". :)

Blessings!!
Kim

What A Week It Will Be!!

2008-10-19T16:31:00.004-04:00

I'm trying hard to not think about everything, all at once, that have to happen this week. I'm going to be organized and have a list of the happenings of each day made out so I won't forget anything.

The best part of this week?? My Peanut is coming home for a visit next weekend!!! I cannot tell you, in words, how much I've missed her. I think that this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. 9 1/2 weeks! I'm so very thankful she's a strong, independent, brilliant young woman, but she's still my baby girl...and I have to stop talking about this now.....only 5 more days!!!

Memories & Prayers

2008-10-15T07:01:00.005-04:00

Today, October 15, is the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy & Infant Loss. (through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss) Though it's been 10 years since the loss of our triplets, and the pain does indeed lessen each year, I don't ever want to forget. To forget what they looked like, to forget holding them in my arms as they drew their last breaths, to forget the peace that overwhelmed us as we said good-bye. And I also never want to forget the comfort that God has granted us over the years, through his Word, through the prayers of others, and the kindness and gentleness of friends and family who remember with us.

Also, please visit Angie's site, and pray for the hundreds of women who are, this day, grieving the loss of their children.

As for me, today, I don't ask for prayers for myself, but for those who have had to experience the heartache and have not been able to come to a place of peace, knowing that their child is playing at the feet of Jesus, and that someday, if we trust Him, we'll be seeing them again.

Blessings!
Kim

Fall into Flavor...this week's recipe!

2008-10-13T14:10:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm going to post a most amazing buttery, yummy, fall recipe, but I cannot take the credit. It's a Paula Deen. And when Paula's involved, you KNOW it has butter!! I've made these today for a small catering I was hired to do this evening. These, and Chocolate Caramel Layer Squares, and Apple Dumplings. Man oh man, is the butter flowin' at MY house today!!

Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake

Cake:
• 1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
Filling:
• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.
To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.
Serve with fresh whipped cream.

Make at your own risk! :) YUMMMMmmm!!

Blessings!
Kim

Hope

2008-10-13T10:28:00.003-04:00

I was praying this morning, for a friend, who's husband died last week...at age 49...massive heart attack. I've been praying for my dear friend, for their 19 year old daughter who just started college, for his many MANY friends who will, and have undoubtedly traveled from miles and miles around to grieve his loss today and tomorrow...and in the weeks and months ahead. And I've had peace....peace that I've experienced many times before, and peace that I pray each of you can know and embrace.

The Hope of the Resurrection
13 And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died[a] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.

Blessings!
Kim

Think Think Think

2008-10-07T15:24:00.004-04:00

My heart and mind are full of thoughts and prayers this afternoon. I feel very tender-hearted, like I could "blow" (not with anger, but with tears) at any second...and for those of you who know me personally, I'm like a faucet that can't be stopped sometimes! I receive the Proverbs 31 Ministries devotions each day, and today's spoke to me in a very gentle, but eye-opening way. I want to be able to say, with my entire heart, that no matter what, Jesus is enough.

With Tender Blessings,
Kim

Fall Into Flavor

2008-10-06T09:50:00.003-04:00

To play along with Linda's Fall Into Flavor, this is a different version of a breakfast casserole. My Grandma passed this recipe on to me, but I'm not sure where she got it. If you like hard-boiled eggs and cheese, you can't go wrong with this...it has LOTS of flavor and definitely not low-fat OR healthy eating. But it's mighty good! Now that the holidays are approaching, there are more opportunities to have breakfast and brunch get-togethers. (at least there are in my family)

SCALLOPED BACON & EGGS

1 cup onion, chopped
½ cup butter or margarine
½ cup flour
4 cups milk
1 # Velveeta cheese, cubed
1 ½ dozen hard cooked eggs, sliced
5 cups plain potato chips, crushed
1 ½ # bacon, fried & crumbled

1. Preheat oven to 325°.

2. In medium/large saucepan, cook onions in butter/margarine until tender and transparent. Blend in flour, milk & cheese to make a sauce. Cook on medium heat, stirring constantly until thick.

3. In a large casserole baking dish, make 2 layers in this order: eggs, sauce, chips, bacon.

4. Bake at 325° until hot through, about 30-45 min. Serves 15. Enjoy!

Fall Festing!

2008-10-04T08:46:00.003-04:00

Hoping for and planning on a completely relaxing weekend with my family. I'm headed to the gym in just a few minutes, then stopping to get my nails done...hey, a girl's got to have her priorities! ;)

Boo's school has their Fall Festival today, so we'll be cake walking and playing games and probably bringing home a new water friend...why oh why do they have the goldfish game!?!

It's supposed to be a beautiful day! Enjoy!

Blessings!
Kim

Honey, I think it's time to turn on the heat!

2008-10-02T08:33:00.004-04:00

Brrrr.......it's a blustery 47 degrees here this morning! I'm bundled up in my bathrobe, drinkin' a cuppa joe, excited about the weather and the day and the activities this evening!

I need to figure out some "snacky finger foods" for tomorrow...it's a PBA day (1/2 day of school) and the PTO provides snacks for the teachers for the afternoon. I'm the hospitality chairman, so I'd best get on the ball!

After my workout late this morning I'm having lunch with a friend! I love lunching with friends!!!! This particular friend has been in my life for several years. She is wise and fun and encouraging and challenging! (not as a person, but she challenges me to be what God is calling me to be and to speak into other people's lives!) So I'm looking forward to spending time with her!

This afternoon is a whirlwind of activity, and then we get to my favorite part. Boo has a football game tonight! All wrapped up in my hoodie and blanket, drinking coffee and cheering on my little man and his team is one of the things on my list of favorite things to do! :) Think I'll put on a pot of soup to warm us up when we get home from the game!

GO STEELERS!!!! (my son's Jr. League football team name....NOT to be mistaken as the "other" Steelers!! I'm a COLTS fan through and through!!)

Blessings!
Kim

Blah blah blah blah blah.....

2008-09-30T22:59:00.004-04:00

I really don't like seeing or hearing myself on video, but this is for Ms. Lidna!! Here I is! ;)

Blessings!
Kim

New Beginnings

2008-09-29T08:17:00.004-04:00

It's a special day at my house. 10 years ago today our lives changed forever. You can read our story here.

Each year, this day is bittersweet. Knowing that God blessed us with an incredible son in Boo, but yet wondering what it would be like if our triplets had been able to live here on earth with us. Through the last 10 years it's sometimes been overwhelmingly emotional for me, and I choose to retreat, just for a day, to grieve and pray and just be sad. But this year is a year of new beginnings and it starts today. I still miss my babies. I still get sad and cry and grieve, but I'm beginning a new Journey today, and I'm claiming victory over many obstacles in my life.

I don't believe in coincidence. I know that this is part of God's plan, and I'm looking forward, from this day, to greater, healthier things.

Be Blessed!

I'm travelin'!

2008-09-24T08:28:00.004-04:00

Boo has a school trip to Chicago for two days. Tomorrow and Friday. I've been the first parent on the waiting list for several weeks. Today I found out that I'm GOING!! YIPPEE!!!! I'm sorry that someone else isn't going to be able to go, but I'm really excited that I get to take this trip with my Boo. So many sights, so little time!!!! Better go get on the laundry and pack our bags!! See ya this weekend!

Football, Determination and Broken Fingers

2008-09-21T21:06:00.006-04:00

Boo is playing tackle football for the first time this year. Youth League. 3rd grade. In the beginning, it was really difficult for him for several reasons. First of all, he's big. He's 5' tall and weighs in at 132 lbs. He's rock solid. And he was out of shape. And he's had to get used to the pads and the helmet, etc.

But by golly, he's done it! He's stuck it out, ran drills with the smaller guys, worked through plays, cried a lot of tears, but he's NEVER given up! And we couldn't possibly be prouder. He's got great ball handling, and the coaches recognize that. He's the starting center, and loves every minute of it.

Even when he's doing bear crawls, bends his pinky finger backward, and then....falls on it. :( UGH!!

I lived the 80's!

2008-09-06T19:24:00.003-04:00

I'm a new reader of Tabitha's, and she's posted a lovely 80's picture, so I thought I'd share one as well....some of you have seen this one, but I love to look at it and PRAISE GOD that we definitely get better with age! ;)

Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?

2008-09-04T15:34:00.003-04:00

I had a thought-provoking discussion with a couple of my gal friends this morning while working on invites to kick off our Women of Hope year.

One of them has been faced with a situation with a fellow believer where she has witnessed a deep lack of integrity of this person. (they aren't close friends....but co-workers) She's praying about whether she's feeling led to actually confront this person, or if she's to simply pray for them and hope that they see the "error of their ways".

Her argument for doing the latter was that she is a "peacemaker". To which my other friend responded..."a peaceMAKER or peaceKEEPER? Peacemakers tend to have to sacrifice something in order to bring about peace in a situation. Whether it be the possibility of losing a relationship, a job, a life (?)......Peacekeepers tend to be more passive and not want to 'stir the pot', so therefore 'keep' the peace." Then we looked at Ezekiel 3:1-11, 16-21 (this is the New Living Translation) where Ezekiel was commanded by God to go into Israel to deliver a message because of their rebellion against God.

1 The voice said to me, “Son of man, eat what I am giving you—eat this scroll! Then go and give its message to the people of Israel.” 2 So I opened my mouth, and he fed me the scroll. 3 “Fill your stomach with this,” he said. And when I ate it, it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.

4 Then he said, “Son of man, go to the people of Israel and give them my messages. 5 I am not sending you to a foreign people whose language you cannot understand. 6 No, I am not sending you to people with strange and difficult speech. If I did, they would listen! 7 But the people of Israel won’t listen to you any more than they listen to me! For the whole lot of them are hard-hearted and stubborn. 8 But look, I have made you as obstinate and hard-hearted as they are. 9 I have made your forehead as hard as the hardest rock! So don’t be afraid of them or fear their angry looks, even though they are rebels.”

10 Then he added, “Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. 11 Then go to your people in exile and say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says!’ Do this whether they listen to you or not.”

16 After seven days the Lord gave me a message. He said, 17 “Son of man, I have appointed you as a watchman for Israel. Whenever you receive a message from me, warn people immediately. 18 If I warn the wicked, saying, ‘You are under the penalty of death,’ but you fail to deliver the warning, they will die in their sins. And I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 19 If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me.

20 “If righteous people turn away from their righteous behavior and ignore the obstacles I put in their way, they will die. And if you do not warn them, they will die in their sins. None of their righteous acts will be remembered, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 21 But if you warn righteous people not to sin and they listen to you and do not sin, they will live, and you will have saved yourself, too.”

Being a peaceMAKER is quite obviously the more difficult for someone who is generally a 'KEEPER'.

Where did you think you'd be?

2008-08-11T16:01:00.002-04:00

The Pioneer Woman asked the other day “How does your life compare to the plans, dreams, and expectations you had ten, twenty years ago?”

The responses have been thought-provoking. Joyful, disappointed, heartwrenching....so many stories to read.....

Here was my response.

My life is good. It hasn’t been easy, and I still make mistakes, but I like to believe that I’ve grown through those mistakes and they don’t happen daily now…just weekly. 20 years ago I was getting ready to marry the father of the child I was 4 months pregnant with. Now I’m married to the love of my life. It’s the same man I married almost 20 years ago, but God has blessed us, and drawn us together more deeply than I could have ever known. That child, our daughter, has grown into a beautiful woman of God who has attainable goals, incredible dreams and high hopes for her own future. We couldn’t be more proud of her.
10 years ago we were preparing for the biggest ride of our lives. We thought it was the birth and adventure of raising our long awaited triplets. It was, in fact, the birth and death of our sweet precious babies.
8 years ago we welcomed our son into the world…the world that told us that we’d never have any other children. God proved them wrong.
Not the life I ever in a million years dreamed of as I was growing up, but much, much more. Through heartaches and trials, laughter and joy, we’ve persevered. Life isn’t easy……but it’s good……and I’m so deeply thankful and blessed.

A Time For Everything

2008-08-04T09:08:00.005-04:00

I'm especially tenderhearted this morning...
...as I think specifically of a family, mourning the loss of their 17 year old daughter to menengitis. As I think of a sweet friend, remembering her momma who passed away almost one year ago, and the sweet reminders that God has been sending her in a tiny lavendar butterfly. Of the sickness of my husband's co-worker to the awful effects of cancer. As a mom struggles with the difficulties surrounding her adopted teenage son. And maybe it has something to do with this time of year that holds a special place in my heart...as I remember and celebrate and give thanks for each moment God has chosen to use me and grow me for his Glory alone......

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything

1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Fear

2008-08-03T22:55:00.004-04:00

This is one of the roadblocks I need to pray against. Is it fear of failure? God isn't out to get me...he doesn't test us just to see us fail. He doesn't work that way. He's the God of greater love than we've ever known.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
13 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. 14 Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.

I HAVE experienced his perfect love. I've embraced it, I've felt it, I've shared it............so no need for fear and I will trust that what God is writing on my heart is part of his perfect plan for me.

There's a Twila Paris song I used to sing a long time ago....I think I need to read over these lyrics a few times....here they are for you to read as well....

Blessings.

Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers,
I've given them all.
But suddenly now,
I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.

Opportunities

2008-08-02T11:09:00.004-04:00

I've been asked to pray about some ministry opportunities in our community, specifically targeting women. Helping them learn to be "more adept at homemaking. Which includes, child rearing, cooking, cleaning, and also more self-esteem to be the wife, mother, grandmother they were meant to be."

This is something I've been hoping for and praying about for a while now......sounds like this new opportunity is an open door, huh? I'm excited at where this is going. :)

Thank you, Lord. I don't have it all mastered, but I desire to, so help me share my passion!

The Best Me I Can Be

2008-07-28T08:35:00.003-04:00

My Plan...
Take care of myself
Physically
Eat right
Drink water
Eat small portions
Exercise once a day
Spiritually
Spend time with God EVERY day, no matter what
Listen to music
Pray continually, without ceasing

Take care of my husband
Physically
Fix healthy meals
Encourage him to eat right
Encourage him to exercise…exercise with him!
Spiritually
Pray for him and with him
Encourage him to spend intimate time with God each day
Encourage him to be more like Jesus each day
Sexually
Listen to his needs of intimacy
Personally
Ask him to hold me accountable
Hold him accountable

Take care of my children
Physically
Provide healthy meals and snacks
Encourage exercise and join them in it!
Encourage them from the inside, out.
Spiritually
Pray for them and with them
Encourage them to spend intimate time with God each day
Encourage them from the inside, out.
Remind them that they are created for God’s use and purpose
Show them EVERY day how to love others
Personally
Ask them to hold me accountable
Hold them accountable

COMMUNICATE AND LISTEN!
Be LOVING, OPEN, HONEST, OBEDIENT, REPENTANT.
Be raw and intimate with those closest to me.
Plan my days
Be flexible
Nurture those around me

Stuff

2008-07-27T11:54:00.002-04:00

Wow! I realize it's been a long time since I've posted here...for no other reason than that I migrate to MySpace and Facebook, and don't think to make this anything different. But I'm re-thinking that....

God is revealing a lot in my life lately...and not just in my life, but in the lives of a large group of people in our community.

Could this be the change we've been praying for?

I'm looking forward to sharing more and seeing what others think. As I've stated before, I'm not much of a writer and I tend to ramble, but if someone can make sense of what I type and actually care to read it, then by all means...........I'll ramble on.

Blessings for your day!

Sometimes I don't feel very wise...

2008-05-08T14:40:00.003-04:00

...but I am surrounded by so many who are. I learn so much from so many who are much younger than I, who have a hunger and desire for righteousness. They live and speak these words into action...

1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

Proverbs 24 (New Living Translation)

1 Don’t envy evil people or desire their company.
2 For their hearts plot violence, and their words always stir up trouble.

3 A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.

5 The wise are mightier than the strong,[a] and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger.
6 So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers.

7 Wisdom is too lofty for fools. Among leaders at the city gate, they have nothing to say.

8 A person who plans evil will get a reputation as a troublemaker.
9 The schemes of a fool are sinful; everyone detests a mocker.

10 If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small.

11 Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death.
12 Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.

13 My child,[b] eat honey, for it is good, and the honeycomb is sweet to the taste.
14 In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future, and your hopes will not be cut short.

Thank you, Lord, for revealing this to me today. And thank you, for the words that you place into the minds and mouths of those much younger than I....help me to learn. Their quest for the Truth puts hunger into my soul.

40 is the new 30

2008-04-16T11:39:00.002-04:00

What does that even mean?

Tomorrow's my birthday.

I'll be 40.

Does that mean I'm really only 30?? I'm told I don't look 40. I don't feel 40. What does it feel like anyway?

LOL!

Dreams...

2008-04-07T08:16:00.003-04:00

I've got one, brewing in my head. I'll let ya know more details as they become clear...which may be never. LOL!

I've enjoyed the few times I've caught Oprah's Big Give on Sunday nights, but let me tell you, I am SO glad that the person who was voted off last night is no longer there! UGH!

We've had a wonderful visit with precious friends for the past several days...I'm sad it had to end and they had to return to Tennessee, but in just a year or so, they'll be back near here to live again, so YAY! :)

Back to Indiana...Safe and Sound

2008-03-11T15:11:00.002-04:00

Peanut and her singing traveling companions arrived back to Indiana (read: reality) yesterday afternoon, safe and sound. After arriving on campus, she and all others who are involved in the spring musical were required to go directly to music rehearsal. WOW! So much for catching up on jet lag, recovering from a long trip. I told the hubster that that was the price she was going to have to pay, she knew what this trip, and being involved with the musical would mean. He said the powers that be were being ridiculous. Either I have absolutely no sympathy, or I'm just trying to keep it real. It's all about choices we make, right? She could have chosen to come back to her room, immediately following rehearsal, and gone to bed....but I know my daughter much better than that. I'm sure her butt is draggin' this morning! Welcome Home Peanut!!

What's the Secret?

2008-03-09T05:00:00.003-04:00

Maybe it's just to blog a little bit about each day, even though I'm convinced that I don't lead a very exciting life. :)

Friday is my favorite day of the week. I know that for the working population, it's a favorite because it means the end of the work week, whether it was particularly stressful or not. But for me it's because it means that I get to spend more time with my family. And hopefully the weekend isn't jam-packed so full that I don't get to enjoy them.

I have really really enjoyed my guys this weekend. Snow and all! :) Have I mentioned lately that I'm so happy to be a SAHM again? :)

Hawaii and Ice Storms

2008-03-04T18:59:00.003-05:00

WHAT?? Those two don't go together, you say?

As I was driving from Indianapolis to home, in the freezing rain, looking at the ice covered trees, fences, road signs, etc., Peanut was calling from the beautifully breath-taking state of Hawaii. "It's in the mid 80's, Mom." My response? "I love you! And I'm SO glad you're having this opportunity, but Pbbbttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :) All I heard was evil laughter!! The nerve! ;)

Safe and Sound plus Last Game of the Season!

2008-03-01T08:16:00.003-05:00

Peanut called last night and they're safe and sound on The Big Island!! She sounded SO excited! Actually, her first words to me was "Hey mom! I just got Lei'd!!" Hardy har har!! Ya'll will realize how hilarious that is if you know how straight-laced she is! :) They stayed in a church last night...the people from the church met them at the airport with signs and leis and made them feel incredibly special and welcomed. They were feeding all 50 of the travelers, then when they get up this morning they'll be having b-fast and preparing for their first concert.

Boo has his last b-ball game this morning! We couldn't be more happy with the progress he and his team have made this season. Much improvement and teamwork! Go Seminoles!! He's had a lot of fun. This will most likely be his last year in this program though...it's time to move on to a much more challenging program to prepare him for more play as he gets older...or at least that's what we think right now. We'll see what next season brings! (he did tell me a couple of days ago that he's really excited about football season this year though! Um....he's moving on to tackle! Stay calm mom, just stay calm!!)

Simon, Simon, Simon...

2008-02-28T21:51:00.003-05:00

......just look what you've started!

Two Days!!

2008-02-27T08:02:00.002-05:00

Peanut has only 45 hours until she and the Bethel College Choir Tour leaves for the Big Island! She is absolutely beside herself with excitement. And we're SO thrilled for her! God has created such awesome opportunities for her in her lifetime, and this is no exception. They'll be "island hopping" once they arrive in Hawaii, and will do this for 10 days! How cool is THAT!?! She's looking forward to volcano climbing, a luau, snorkeling, trying new foods, flea market shopping, and going from church to church to shopping center and wherever else they're singing. And what a great group of kids it is...very grounded in their faith in Jesus Christ, using the voices God has blessed each of them with to share His love.

We're praying for safety in travel, and while they're in HI. Praying that God would use each of them how he sees fit. Praying for health and wellness in their voices. And praying for rest!!

When many of them return, they'll be jumping right back into rehearsals for Pirates of Penzance, so there won't be much time to recover from jet lag. Praying that their bodies get the rest they need on the return trip, etc.

Happy 90th Birthday Beautiful Grandma!

2008-02-24T23:07:00.002-05:00

You are loved...much!!!

Complete Devastation!

2008-02-22T05:55:00.002-05:00

A family in Boo's school lost EVERYTHING to a fire yesterday morning. We used to live two doors down from this family before we all had kids in school together. They've weathered so much.....and yesterday was the son's birthday! How incredibly sad......please pray for the Jester family as they try to rebuild and recover from this loss. Their doggy died in the fire, but praising God that the four of them were at work or school and no human lives were lost.

I told my mom about it, and she got pretty emotional, even though she didn't know them......I'm sure it brought back a flood of memories. She was pregnant with me when she and daddy lost absolutely everything when their house burned to the ground...almost 40 years ago.

It could happen to ANY of us....

Happy Birthday My Sweet!

2008-02-22T05:47:00.004-05:00

Today's the hubster's birthday! We're celebrating by braving sleet, ice and snow to drive north to pick Peanut up from college for the weekend. And she's bringing home her friend Lynds. (we made the decision last night that even if school is just a 2-hour delay here, we're taking Boo out of school and he'll go with us) If we return to NC in time, we're headed to Pizza King to celebrate with friends tonight. (we didn't factor in the winter storm warning in effect until 7pm tonight.)

I'm not very good at this thing they call blogging...

2008-02-19T11:21:00.003-05:00

I'm not a writer. I think for the most part I just ramble. Is there anything in the big Rules of the Blogging World book that says I have to have a purpose to my blogging? I'm just about as ordinary as they come. I'd like to become more refined and cultural...but living in this small town in East Central Indiana, I don't think that's going to happen. If you visit me, you'd see what I mean! LOL!

Boo mentioned again today that he was tired of the cold weather...I asked him if he'd like to move somewhere where it was warmer, with no snow. He said, "yeah!" until he thought about what that might mean...."um, no, I take that back mom. I don't want to leave my friends." Kids are resilient. If God says go, and we go, he'll be okay. I'd just rather do it when he's younger rather than older.

We're going ahead with original plans for this afternoon, so YAY!

I got a call this morning from my FORMER employer...LOL...my replacement is sick already and called in this morning. They wanted me to come in. I declined, of course. If I go in every time she calls, it will completely defeat the purpose for me choosing to stay home! I just find it funny...not in a mean sort of way, but just odd funny.

I'm sure my blogging will get more interesting as I come up with more of a purpose for it, but for now, ya'll just have to read the boring stuff....sorry. :)

Blessings,
Kim

"Stuff"

2008-02-18T16:41:00.002-05:00

So, obviously I need to figure out how to post pictures on my blog. LOL! They're huge! And I have no clue how to resize them.

Friday was my last day at work. Guess where I went this morning after dropping Boo off at school?? Work. Yep! I'm a sucker. Okay, not really...it was just the new teacher's first full day by herself, and the Foster Grandmothers had the holiday off, so I said I would go in for just a couple of hours. They only ended up having 4 babies today, so it worked out well. It was REALLY odd though. I wasn't "in charge" anymore. But I was totally okay with that. :)

So Peanut just posted on my Facebook...."mom, pray pray pray, cause I lost my phone!" UGH!!!! When she realized she'd left it somewhere, she went back, but it was gone. She's hoping it will turn up, or she said she'll call campus safety. Now, I'd LOVE to give others the benefit of the doubt. It's a small, Christian college. Everyone just about knows everyone else, so I'm praying that it turns up...VERY soon. I've called it and noone answers.

The Hubster has a nasty fever and cold. Came home from work early. Had already had the rest of the week scheduled off, so....we'll see. He's got a little "procedure" scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Hoping they'll still do it even though he's got this cold. It has NOTHING to do with his head. LOL!

Blessings,
Kim

The Love of My Life

2008-02-14T05:37:00.003-05:00

Happy Valentines Day My Love!
We've come a long way baby!

Part of My Story

2008-02-10T04:24:00.002-05:00

(This can be a sensitive issue with many dealing with fertility issues, the loss of a child or children)

I was asked a while back if I would share the story of our babies, and I haven’t done that yet. It’s very long, and at times, difficult to read, but I pray it will give you a vision of God’s grace and love, strength, comfort and peace. I pray it is an example of what amazing things we can endure if we just let go and let Him carry us through our heartache. Our Hope remains.

Mike and I were married (almost 20 years ago now…in 2008) (updated again...here it is 2012, and 23 years later...wow!), when I was 4 months pregnant with our daughter, Karen. We hadn’t planned it that way, but it was never a mistake. God covered us with grace, and brought a beautiful blessing out of our wrong choices. Two months after we were married, Mike left for delayed entry into the Air Force. He came home to us on his birthday, and saw his 4 week old daughter for the first time. One week later, we left for our first duty station in Florida. When Karen was approx. 2, we decided we wanted to try for another baby….so, we tried, and tried, and tried…month after month. VERY long story short, we tried for 7 years, with no success. It was heartbreaking, stressful, and the complete focus of my life for a very long time. Throughout this process I had seen military docs, had some tests, went to Bethesda Fertility Clinic, was told nothing was wrong with me, and took Clomid for a while. We eventually separated from the Air Force after 9 years active duty, (lots of moves, deployments, and Desert Storm in there, where Mike was gone for 9 months to Saudi) and came home to Indiana. We talked about what to do, and began researching doctors, etc. I was referred to a fertility clinic in Indy, went to see the doc, and within ½ hour of meeting with him, and some blood tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I had some tests done, minor procedures done, and within one month was having surgery to remove polyps that had grown in my uterus. Because we had tried Clomid already, and didn’t want the risk of being on it too long, we pursued another (injectable) drug. In a matter of two cycles, I was pregnant!! For those of you not familiar with fertility treatments, it requires many hours of travel, tests, journaling, scheduling, etc., etc. We found out early on in my pregnancy, within the first month, that I was indeed carrying triplets. We were ECSTATIC! I had a VERY uneventful pregnancy. Felt fabulous, ate right, did everything I was “supposed” to do. I was monitored closely, had surgery to stitch my cervix closed at 13 weeks, and was sailin’ along. I was released to my high risk OB, and things were going well. I joined a moms of multiples group, we moved our bedroom out of the larger, master bedroom, which became the nursery, started decorating, planning 2 or 3 baby showers, had 3 cribs, just all the things that come with planning for a baby’s arrival, only multiplied by three. Karen was excited, our families were excited, and we were walking on clouds.

Aug. 23, 1998 was a Sunday. Mike stayed home from church with a cold, and Karen and I went. The sermon that morning was entitled, “Life’s Supreme Crisis”. Pastor talked about how we go through trials, difficult times, and all God wants us to do is surrender all we have to him. The sermon touched me, and I was very emotional. I prayed during that service that I would let go of things I was “holding on to”, and that ultimately, the babies I was carrying were His, and I surrendered…Your will be done Lord… I was pretty peaceful. I went to Sunday school then, and shared with my class that I was struggling with thoughts and emotions that something “just wasn’t right”. (this was only a stirring in me at this point…I had no idea of what was to come) I shared that it probably had a lot to do with pregnancy hormones, and that one of the moms in my Moms of Multiples group had lost her babies (also triplets) the week prior.

We went home after church, and after a quick lunch, we all laid down for naps. I woke from my nap feeling “odd”. Went to the bathroom, and that was when I felt something….I went back to the bed, and immediately woke Mike, who called the doctor. I went to the local hospital for an OB to check me out, and things began to move very quickly. Surrounded by family, the doctor told me that the lowest sac was protruding, that my cerclage (stitch) had torn, and that I was going to have to be transported to another hospital. I was put into trendellenburg position, and rode 30 miles that way to the hospital. I was immediately taken into surgery, and my stitch was repaired. I came out of surgery still carrying all three of my precious babies. Something had triggered me to go into early labor, and I had started contracting without any knowledge from me. They determined I had a UTI, and that was probably what caused it.

I spent 4 ½ weeks, in and out of the hospital. I was on icky, horrid drugs to help stop contractions, and though strict bed rest was difficult, but I was willing to do absolutely anything to carry my babies to term. Not only our own family, but our church family was AWESOME! They prepared meals for an entire month for our family. They helped out in any way they could. At 22 ½ weeks, I ended up in the hospital again, and was there one week when our lives changed forever…

At 23 1/2 weeks, the morning of September 29, 1998, I told my nurse that something didn’t feel right, could she call the doctor. One of the docs in the OB practice was delivering right then, and as soon as she was finished, within 15 min. or so, she came in to check on me. I was in active labor. Mike was at work…1 ½ hours away. My grandma was at the hospital visiting me, so I wasn’t alone. Things started happening so quickly. I was in a fog. Orders were being given, the room filled with doctors and nurses, and incubators were brought in. I was crying, quiet, peaceful tears….I knew God was going to take care of me and my babies…no matter what. It all happened so fast. I gave them Mike’s work number, and he made it to the hospital in record time…I know God was guiding his car, and as I look back, he drove by himself, almost 90 miles, not knowing if his children or his wife would be alive when he arrived…. One particular nurse, her name was Dana, came to my head, held my hand, and asked me if she could pray with me. As she was praying I was, once again, overcome with peace. I began to softly sing outloud, “Surely the presence of the Lord is in the place, I can feel his mighty power and his grace. I can hear the brush of angel’s wings, I see glory on each face. Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.” I truly, with my whole heart, believe that God was present in that room….I could FEEL him.

By the time Mike had arrived, Elizabeth Anne and Nathanial James had been born. Both babies were alive, but struggling for every breath. The doctors tried all they could, but their perfect precious bodies were just too weak to survive outside of mommy so soon. Nathanial died after 20 min, and Elizabeth died 25 min. later, in my arms, laying on my chest. I stroked their precious bodies, looked at every inch of them, sang to them, and told them how much mommy and daddy loved them, but that Jesus loved them more, and he was going to take care of them for us. I cannot in human words possibly explain to you the strength God granted me at that time. It was never denial. It was complete and utter strength and peace that the Holy Spirit was filling me with.

Nathanial and Elizabeth laid in my arms almost up to the time when I gave birth to Zachary David. Zachary was born in his sac, protected from any infection or outside germs, and as his sac was broken, he let out a precious squeak. I can still hear that sound…..

Zachary was much stronger than his brother and sister, and the doctors immediately took him to the NICU. He was doing well after an hour or so, and Mike went home to get Karen. He felt she needed to hear it from him…

Oh, the strength of a child………Mike told Karen that Nathanial and Elizabeth had died, and her response was this, “They’re perfect now Daddy.” With that, I envision my children playing at the feet of Jesus, never to know the ills and pains of this world. God is truly good!

When they returned to the hospital, Mike was allowed to take Karen into the NICU to see her baby brother. She touched him, told him she loved him, and called him Rocky….”our little fighter”. We were all able to spend time by his side, hooked up to machines, fighting for his life. But after 17 hard hours, his little body had fought as hard as it could, and we had to make the most difficult decision yet, to turn off the machines, and let him go in peace, in our arms, as his brother and sister had. Before making that decision, Mike and I were able to go to the NICU, and I rocked Zachary and held him and kissed his toes and sang Jesus Loves Me to him. It was a precious, heartbreaking time, but I know he knew his mommy was there, protecting him and surrendering him to the Father.

I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know what to say to you to help you understand what peace, strength and comfort God granted through this heartbreaking time in our lives, and continues to grant to this day. It was just God. It was surrender to allow him to do as he knew best. It was knowing that we had Hope. That we knew, beyond any doubt, that we would see our children again. We have knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We have accepted that precious Gift that God had given to us, and we will one day, hold our children in our arms again.

I also want you to know that I have had many sleepless nights, agonizing over the loss of our babies. I have cried too many tears to count, and I have been angry. I have sat in the cemetery and screamed and beaten the ground and wept like I’ve never wept before, but through the tears, and the anger, and the grief, God has carried me through. The pain does lessen as the years go by, but their birthday is always especially difficult. God has given me a wonderful family and an awesome group of friends who always remember what a tender time that is for me, and I feel very loved and cared for on that day as I grieve and reflect. My prayer has always been that He be glorified through it all. We are using the comfort He has given us to help others. Through their grief, their questions, their heartache. We, as humans, don’t have the answers, but we know who does.

The evidence of God’s grace and miracles doesn’t stop there in our story. After the babies died, we agonized over whether to try for more children. I was told by the doctors that I wouldn’t get pregnant without more fertility help, and if I ever did get pregnant, I wouldn’t carry to term. We prayed, I agonized, I cried, I tried to control it. And God, once again, brought me to a point of total and complete surrender. But this process didn’t come easily. I finally knew in my heart what I’d always said with my mouth and thought in my head. That it would be okay if I never had another child. I knew that God KNEW my desires, and if I would just let go, he would show me his perfect plan. So…I did……..I gave up. I said, “Lord, YOUR will be done.”, and the very afternoon that I prayed that prayer, and was sure of it with all of my heart, I found out that I was pregnant. Words cannot even describe what was going on in my heart by then…

I carried Matthew (our “Gift of God”), not only to term, but 3 days overdue. Our God is so cool……
(Matthew just celebrated his 8th birthday!)(updated: Matthew will be 12 in just a little over a week, and he's now taller than his momma.)

Blessings!

I had to update once again. God continually gives me little hugs and kisses in wonderfully random ways to remind me that He's still taking care of my sweet babies and that one day, I'll hold them in my arms. The year 2011 brought their 13th birthday. Teenagers they would be! WOW! I now own a cake design business and one of the things I love to do is come up with special birthday cakes for my kids.

On the triplets 13th birthday, God sent someone to me who ordered a 13th birthday cake...so in a way, I got to make a cake for "THEIR" birthday. Once again I say.....Our God is SO cool!!

Sweet sweet blessings!!

A very difficult, but very right decision

2008-02-04T10:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I have some news to share.

Let me preface this post by telling you that I'm a caregiver for 6 infants, ages 7-11 months, at a childcare ministry designed to provide care for children of teen moms and moms continuing their education.

This decision came after much praying, talking and LOTS of crying, but I'm going back to being a SAHM. First of all, I know that there are MANY of you who would LOVE to do this, but don't have the freedom to do so, so I want you to know that I realize how very blessed I am to be able to make this decision without money being the issue.

We've weighed the pros and cons, prayed a lot about it, and though I'm really sad (MOSTLY because I HATE HATE HATE that I'm not going to be a daily constant in the lives of the babies I've already built bonds with), I have a complete peace that I'm doing the right thing.

What it boils down to (and some agree and some disagree) is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am FIRST to be an excellent wife and mother to my husband and child still living at home. And working outside the home, in the job I've been working in, has left me exhausted, sick at times, and taken me away from doing what I know God wants me to do.

My house is in disarray most times, the laundry piles up MUCH more than it ever has, we eat out WAY too often, I'm not available or don't have the energy to help Matthew and spend time with Matthew like I know he deserves....and the list goes on and on. I've come to realize that Matthew deserves to have me here, just as much as Karen did, and that I cannot, since $ isn't the issue, short him that way, kwim?

This job was given to me at a MUCH needed time in my life. Making the transition of having our daughter off to college, and finding out who I really was, was something I know that God provided that job for. For a season, I touched the lives of other babies and young mommies, and know that it was for a purpose, but now it's time for me to step back and do again what I know I was called to do.

I cannot tell you how many tears I have shed over this...and I sit here crying as I type. Mostly because I have such an incredibly deep love for those babies....I cannot even describe it. I've felt guilty for leaving, like I'm a quitter, but that, I know, as God has revealed to me, is just the enemy keeping me from focusing on what I know in my heart is right. I know that God will provide someone else just as, or more so qualified than I am.

It's a VERY hard job, for VERY little pay (though that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the reason I'm leaving) and it really is ideal for someone not looking for the $, but for somewhere to serve, to minister. But right now, my place to serve and minister is in my home....

So....there ya have it. That's what's been swimmin' around in my brain and my heart for the past several weeks.... I've told my boss (who is VERY sad that I'm leaving but just as equally as supportive) that I would give her a couple of weeks, and help train whoever she hires for that position.

I told you so!

2008-01-29T16:44:00.000-05:00

You can see how well my blogging has gone! HA! Here it is, the new year, almost into the 2nd month, and have I blogged?? Why, NO! Of course not! :) But believe me when I say..."the 2nd half of 2007 was one test after another!"

So.....um, let's try this again.

Blessings,
Kim

Biting off more than I can chew...

2007-07-21T18:22:00.000-04:00

Into this journey of blogging, this world I really don't know much about...I'm diving in. I didn't want to just be a lurker anymore, but I'm not much of a writer, so I suppose it will just be here and if anyone chooses to read it, then that's great! If not, at least I will have tried to put my thoughts, my emotions, my faith into words and can look back on them and see from where it is I've come.

Blessings!